That Night

 

12:36 AM – The Night I Left Home

It is 12:36 AM. The house is quiet, but my mind is not. In a few hours, I will leave my hometown for Delhi to begin my PhD at the University of Delhi. Everyone says, "Congratulations." They see a new beginning. I do too. But they don't see everything I am leaving behind.

I am leaving the home where I grew up, where every room carries a memory and every corner reminds me of who I have been. I am leaving behind the familiar roads, the people who know my story, and the comfort of a place that has always felt like home.

I am leaving behind my parents, whose sacrifices made this journey possible. Every achievement I celebrate carries a part of their hard work, sleepless nights, and unwavering faith in me. Walking away from home is exciting, but it also leaves a quiet emptiness that words cannot fully describe.

I am leaving behind my elder cousin, who has always stood beside me like an elder brother. Through every success, every setback, every difficult decision, and every uncertain phase of life, I always knew there was someone who believed in me without hesitation. That kind of support is a blessing I will always carry with me.

I am leaving behind friendships that were built over years—friends who stood beside me through celebrations, failures, late-night conversations, endless chai breaks, and uncertain days. Distance may change how often we meet, but I hope it never changes what those friendships mean.

I am also leaving behind someone who has become a very special part of my life. Today is not just the beginning of my PhD journey; it is also the beginning of our long-distance journey. We know the road ahead won't be easy. There will be distance, busy days, family responsibilities, and moments when life tests our patience. We don't know what the future has planned for us, but we have faith that if two people are meant to walk together, they will find their way despite every obstacle. Until then, we'll hold on to our dreams, our promises, and the hope that one day the distance between us will be replaced by a life we build together.

There are simple things I know I will miss more than I expect—the taste of home-cooked food, the familiar flavours of my hometown, the meals prepared with love, and the comfort that only home can offer. Sometimes, we only realise the value of ordinary moments when they become memories.

And then there is Prince, my pet. He will never understand what a PhD is or why I have to leave. He only knows whether I am home or not. Saying goodbye to him may seem like a small moment to others, but to me, it is one of the hardest parts of leaving.

This journey is about more than earning a degree. It is about becoming a better son, a better researcher, a better friend, and a better human being. I know Delhi will challenge me. There will be long days in the library, difficult research, moments of loneliness, financial struggles, and days when I question myself. But I also know that dreams demand courage, and courage often begins with leaving what is comfortable.

I am not leaving because I love my home less. I am leaving because everything my home has given me has prepared me to chase a bigger dream.

As the train moves towards Delhi, a part of my heart will remain in my hometown—with my parents, my elder cousin, my friends, someone who silently holds a special place in my heart, the food that tastes like home, and Prince waiting at the door.

Tonight is not just the beginning of a PhD journey. It is the beginning of a life shaped by hope, sacrifice, gratitude, love, and the belief that no matter how far I travel, my roots will always guide me back home.

I am not leaving my roots behind. I am carrying them with me.

Hope for the best 🤞 

 ..... Soon to be Dr.

Sugyan Nanda